In today's society the life of an independent is the way to go. Having your own life, having your own things and not depending on anyone else is the ideal way to live...But if I may take a few moments and break down the definition of an independent in order that we my be on the same page then we can shine light on this topic.
DEFINITION OF AN INDEPENDENT
Because being independent can mean such a variety of things I want to strip it down to its most simple form. To be independent is to not be dependent of any one or any thing. To not be influenced or controlled by an outside source.
BREAKING IT DOWN
I get it, we do not want to be controlled or influenced by those who bring us down, we do not want to be dependent of another's aid......but the very fact that we leave a home due to the desire to be removed from their authority or no longer want their help.....is still a result of their words and actions influencing us directly. Your independency, departure, removal -whatever you want to call it- stems from a time of dependency of another and has shifted into a dependency on self.......and a dependency on self is the dead end to love, joy, hope, family, community, friendship and all good things.....in other words a dependency of self is self destruction through lies, insecurities, depression and loneliness.
Why am I attacking this word "independent"? Because I strongly believe this word in itself has led a majority of our generation into a life of captivity played out in the masking of their insecurities rather than a life of freedom. And quite frankly, I am sick and tired of hearing people say "I am independent," which I usually respond by asking, "Independent of what exactly?"
Lets be honest, to be fully independent means we can live by ourselves with no one around us. We do not need the love and opinion of another, we are self sufficient....and if that is the case, Mr. or Ms. Independent, then move to an island by yourself. Live in a place where their is no society and no community, just you.....and see how long you last there, see how long the existence of man will remain....I'll give you two years......And even then, you are still dependent upon the island for food and shelter.
WHO IS INDEPENDENT?
I hope that my extreme illustration does not offend you, I am simply making a point, that no one that has lived, is living or ever will live is fully independent. If we want to give the independent title to anyone it is God, He does not need anything or anyone to exist. He is self reliant and self sufficient and He is the ultimate giver of life.
Dr. A.R. Bernard, Pastor of Christian Cultural Center said that when a man fails to follow through his word he pressures the woman to step up and fulfill the role he lacked. I completely agree with his statement, anyone who falls short of completing their promise creates a distrust in them, it creates distance and ultimately it creates a desire to be independent of them.
THE CRY OF AN INDEPENDENT
This is my argument; those who claim to be independent or want to be independent are doing two things.
1. Disclosing that at some point they have been hurt by another's words and actions or their lack of.
2. Simply saying they want to be responsible of their own words and actions.
WHAT INDEPENDENCY REALLY MEANS
My final thought is this, I believe every person who claims independency really wants to be known as someone who is responsible. They want to be responsible in their bills, responsible in their work, responsible in their relationships and responsibly moving towards their future. I do not think anyone one that says they are independent is saying "I want to live on an island by myself." That is ridiculous, but I do think they want to be responsible and mature.
Independency cultivates insecurity, responsibility develops maturity.
Dr. A.R. Bernard also said that maturity is taking responsibility and most importantly responsibility of another (family, friendships and community). I believe it is ultimately impossible to be both mature and independent. For how can we be responsible for another by being concerned with the dependency of ourselves?
I hope this has both challenged and encouraged you as someone who claims to be independent or someone who hears other's say they are independent. We are created to do life together and live in community. Lets be responsible for ourselves as well as one another.
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